Sunday, 13 May 2012

Green Nails for Depression Awareness

Hi Goddesses 




I'm sure I read somewhere that it's Depression Awareness month again somewhere, and by an unlucky coincidence, I'm struggling at the moment, so what better time to unite nails to cause?



I've written about my depression before, and also received emails and messages about it.  I am not a chronic suffer.  I am not bipolar or suicidal - I have what they call "mild" depression, where you die inch by mediocre inch.



You might ask why I would choose to write about this on a blog.  It's certainly not ego talking, although I do like doing posts where I can let my thoughts roam free, unharnessed by limits dictated by a polish.  No, it's because I refuse to be embarrassed by it.  Simple as that.




Life is hard.  Life in the 21st century is *incredibly* hard.   If you think about the manic lives we all lead, is it any wonder that mental illnesses are on the increase?   Between the job, the children with their after-school social lives, social media and networks, TV that records at the touch of a button ... when, in this life, do we ever get to switch off ?




Usually I am ok.  Level and functioning, albeit not at my sparkly hey day best.   This episode is unusual and has been triggered by a month of bad weather in the UK (which has made me miserable and snotty), bad sinuses (which has led to me feeling tired and throwing up pretty much every day), an excitingly manic month at work, and a daughter who I adore who has wanted a lot of me.  There has been less of me to go round because I have felt ill, and yet I have spread myself thinner (not physically thinner, dammit if only THAT were a side effect of depression), and because something has to give, depression sneaks into the back door of your mind, the one you forgot to lock because you were so busy doing other things.



I was asked this weekend whether I thought doing my nails helped my depression ?  Undoubtedly, yes.  The nail room is my oasis, my nirvana, my isolation booth (I hide and retreat when I'm suffering), and doing my nails has become what I've started calling my "Yoga For The Soul".   What on earth does that mean ?  Well, to do your nails, you have to relax, chill, and breathe smoothly, all meditative acts.  It's also something that you have to focus on 100% to get right, leaving no room for intruding thoughts.   Would you like to place a bet on whether I have had more or less nail room time available these last few weeks?  Uh huh, less .....



So, let's segue to the nails, cos that's why we's-a here :)   This is 2 coats of the beautiful Myrza's Meadow from Barielle, a lovely dreamy creamy green, with a good touch of warmth and loads of holo particles.  This is so pretty on it's own.


So what's all that stuff on top then ?   Well, I wanted to do a mani that reflected how I feel, and these squiggles, in ManGlaze Nawsome Sauce, do just that - tied up in knots; don't know where I'm going; no end, no begininng; contorted thoughts; fragmented; a mess.



Thank you for reading xx.

18 comments:

  1. Thank you for posting this. The squiggle mess of the mani makes a lot of sense to me as a fellow sufferer.

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  2. It was amazing to join this community of polishers because there are so many who suffer from the same. I agree that the mani's are therapeutic. And.....I love this look.

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  3. I know how you feel with the weather. It is not pretty here either. I hope you are feeling better soon though :)
    I love the green squiggles on top! I thought it was a new way of stamping for a minute. It looks really good :D

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  4. I know that without a doubt my blog and nail time has tremendously helped with my depression. I feel like I have something to offer, something worth while doing. Before I started my blog I would just sit and watch tv. I would do stuff but we are trying to get out of debt so all our money goes to that. Now I have something that I love doing and sharing my nail work.

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  5. I have NO doubt that polish has added so much positive to my life. It is definitely a creative oasis.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

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  6. I really like what you did with this mani! So cool! Sending positive thoughts! :)

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  7. Well, if they're a mess, they're a *beautiful* mess! I was thinking to myself that they looked almost like celtic knotwork, and then you went and referred to being tied up in knots. ^_^ I was diagnosed as bipolar years ago, and I've been off and on medication since then (off because of pregnancies, not because I just stop taking it)...but I got re-diagnosed about eight months ago now as ADHD (I didn't know ADHD could present as depression between times of hyperness?!) and my meds were switched from a bipolar med to adderall (but still with celexa as well, because I have completely separate anxiety problems) and I've been SOOOO much better since then!

    Nothing, however, will ever make me forget how bad I got the year I was on birth control pills. For someone like me, the idea of even contemplating suicide just seems...stupid. (Not because I think it's morally wrong or anything, but because I honestly believe in reincarnation...hard not to when you *remember* a half-dozen of your previous lives...and I honestly and fervently have no desire to go through childhood again any time soon. Being a kid *sucks*.) And yet, after about five months on birth control pills, I started to contemplate it. And I didn't even realize how bad I had gotten for several months, until my boss wrote me up for bad attendance.

    Step by step getting better since then. But it's become a lot harder for me to counsel people who are occasionally suicidal because now I know how it feels...and while suicide may be a permanent answer to a temporary problem, gods know it doesn't *feel* temporary while you're there.

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  8. Thanks for sharing with us…. Polish is a calming experience for me, a creative outlet. I definitely understand.

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  9. beautiful mani, I often wonder if I suffer from depression, since I have started doing mani's ....I seem to be happier!!!

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  10. It looks like you have a magical green dragon on your nails. love it =]

    I understand your depressed-ness...
    This time of year I should be really happy, spring and then SUMMER! But I'm not. This time of year marks a really horrible time for me a year ago. I lost someone so super close, and what's worse is I blame myself for just not being there when I was needed.

    Doing my nails is definitely my outlet. I've always had them, reading, art, knitting, crochet, and this time it's nails. It really is just best for your mind to be able to do something constructive, and to keep your brain moving through the creative process. I have the will to help myself, because I know it'll be the worst if I ever don't have the will to keep picking up pieces.

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  11. I can completely relate to how you feel with your depression. I've been suffering from depression and anxiety for a while now and I know how it can creep up on you and drag you down. I find that doing my nails and blogging does really help. After a stressful day I love nothing more than putting the children to bed, sending hubby off to the gym and sitting doing my nails - I find it very relaxing.

    Your mani is lovely and makes perfect sense to a fellow sufferer :) I'm so glad that people are now finding the courage to speak out about this awful illness.

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  12. Love it how did you get what I think looks amazing, hoping the sun will shine for you
    tomorrow x

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  13. <3 I love your nails and your beautiful face xxx

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  14. i haven't replied to each individual comment, but thank you each and every one of you who took the time to leave a message. As most of you seem to know, it helps to know you're not alone, even when someone else can't really help. Love you all, love doing my nails, and love the friends I've made through this blog. Thank you xxx <3

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  15. I've suffered from depression (an anxiety) for almost 25 years & this year has been one of the hardest by far. Thank goodness for nail polish & other cosmetics, because it really makes me feel better to wear them. I consider polish to be color therapy you can carry around with you.

    Green is my favorite color and I love wearing it. I have Myrzra's Meadow, but I haven't worn it yet, so I think I'll have to try out this mani when I wear it for the first time. :D

    Hope you are feeling better soon & things get less crazy. Always remember the little things & that you are not alone.

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  17. I appreciate your story. I have anxiety disorder and I agree that no one should be embarrassed about a mental disorder. This mani is a beautiful tribute to Depression Awareness!

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